Make sure the toilet lid is lowered before sitting down
Soup ferments when enclosed in a water bottle for weeks inside a locker
Taking more of something because you don't feel the effects never ends well
Your knees will take opinion on skipping four stairs at a time descending
Drinking the remaining juice of extremely spicy instant noodles will leaves you on all fours
Maybe you just wanted companionship instead of sex all along
Deciding on "one more video" will always take more time than you expect
Don't choose to seriously learn Japanese if you love yourself
If you stub on of your toes, the likelihood of hitting it again within the next two weeks grows tenfold
Peanuts are not nuts. Peanut butter is sugary hummus.
If after a hundred mistakes you feel that this time a product is what you actually need, don't trust that feeling
fourth grade is too young of an age to be starting to watch pornography
The headphone cable will always be in your way when you walk away from your desk
Don't try to save someone via sacrificing yourself for months because they are cute
Crying is equivalent to post-nut clarity
Sometimes making an uncertain choice is the only way to get yourself to play that one game, or read that one series
Forgeting to brush your teeth for months does not award you social points
A 50$ Stratocaster being sold on Marketplace is a well paid 50$ lesson
Making edgy Nazi jokes in public does not transition well into your twenties
Don't shave your legs with a straight razor if you wear anything else but skirts
High Heels are not made with human comfort in mind
Girl pants are engineered scams to make you buy a handbag
Maybe don't rip off your little toe's nail completely more than three-ish times
Trimming your nails with your bare hands will always result in an angular deviation that results in pain
Being in front of the living-room family computer is not a safe haven, even after midnight
Nothing is gained from staring at the sun for five mintues straight
Offering water to a random person on the street asking you for money is inneffective
Going impulsively rummage through trash for cans five cents each in your city in the evening for one evening in your life is pointless if you are well-off financially
Long wet grass is hard to mow
SCPs are not real
Kraft Diner is Mac&Cheese
Panic attacks are your fears feebacking onto themselves, or you actually dying who knows lmao
A dirty fleshlight does not hold past a month
Close the blinds of the living room when you are having private time at someone else's place
Being a creep is not haha funny
recklessly hitting Ctrl + S can be a life saver
Telling someone who is angry whether they want a hug may make them lash out towards you
Absolutely destroying your Wii is not the best way to fix it suddently not wanting to open anymore
Wooden colored pencils and AXE shampoo don't go in the butt
Make sure an SNES cartridge is NTSC before buying it from Europe
Listening to "Everywhere at the End of Time" at 3AM assures you stay awake
Don't ask that one dude how he's doing
Wearing more than one layer of clothing during Winter helps with the cold
Don't go by yourself in Shinjuku's Red Light district alleys after dark
A male Beta fish could die from stress within two weeks just by seeing his reflection 24/7
Cutting the whiskers off of a cat hinders its psychological well being
Six month old bread in the freezer is not the most exquisite culinary experience
Removing parts of your lips is probably not good for you
Cheap All-Dressed-flavored chips will make your tongue's skin peel off
Tonsil stones are a thing that exist
Post-surgery bandages stuck to your private parts hold onto the tip skin after mindlessly pulling down your underwear too quickly
White spots on your fingernails does not mean you have to chug orange juice in the middle of the night to prevent scurvy
Swinging air hockey pucks will all your strenght to make them bounces in a room is not safe
A water bottle falling from a set of stairs will explode on impact
Don't serve expired shrimps to a customer because you don't want to dissapoint them
Pulling out weeds around a dug-out private pool may be a sign you need to change jobs
People may have already lied to themselves before telling you their genuine and honest thoughts
Someone telling you they have a ghost in their head who is a schizophrenic named "James" that hears the voices of someone called "Bob" may need outside assistance
Make sure your guitar is tuned before playing a song in front of a crowd
Sitting down on a national highway bridge with less that one meter of should each side is dangerous
If you're in a hurry during winter, don't be last minute when you arrive at your car
Don't eat that whole thing, you know how you will feel when you do
Beware of online subscription services that prevent you from accessing their service as soon as you cancel instead of keeping you using it for the reminder of what you paid for
Sometimes, clearing browser cookies is a good way to bypass the need for a subscription service
Your stomach appearing fatter than normal is because you ate food
Walking is as valid of a physical activity as running/jogging
Knee pads are a good alternative to putting your entire weight on your knees for months
Nice cock, bro
Maybe you're awkward around certain people because they are arkward
Ketchup mixed with Worcestershire sauce is not a viable alternative to genuine Yakisoba sauce
If someone is sitting at a table near the exit of a supermarket or grocerie store, avoid eye contact at all cost
Picasso was not a great human being
Minecraft Youtubers either die a hero, or live long enough to become predators
Telling someone they are the bad guys has never made them realize they were the bad guys in the entire history of mankind
"Jeans" is not commonly employed as an umbrella term for "all types of pants"
Pee is meant to go out, not to go back in
Condensed Campbells soup needs to be mixed with water before consumption
Filling out your tax report is wise
Wearing the same 15$ slippers as all-season shoes is not the best
Cutting a police car off will cost you some money
Sex is not worth 1000$
Knitting amidst a computer science college class could be disrespectful
Having quarters at all times in your car just in case you need parking time is a blessing
Looking at your phone while driving is dangerous
Try clip-on sunglasses before buying them
You might taste a bit of iron after screaming too much
To really experience bitterness, forget your tea bag for a couple of hours in a cup
"Put some order in your Legos" does not mean smashing all of them in pieces back into their intermingled storage container
That person that you don't get what they are talking about might be speaking to someone sitting behind you
Telling your parents that you are being bullied will help you in your quest to not be bullied
Still watching Caillou in third grade might make you the target of a class-wide Caillou theme song choir
Mistaking your water glass for the sugary drink you were having a moment ago will generate instant dissapointment
Don't test your luck on whether you will be fined a 100$ parking ticket
Owning a body pillow of an underage manga character gets exponentially weirder and weirder past high school
Maybe don't watch Avengers Endgame as your first Marvel Movie
Masking tape is rarely the most resillient adhesive for the job
Very cheap glassware will eventually fracture when pouring hot water into it
Pee could turn black when residing inside a metallic container for an unspecified amount of time
Being alone in a cantine with only 10 hours of training is a stressful first job
Switching which arms goes into which sleeve might make you stuck while in class
Certain Japanese adult entertainment books are better used as fire fuel than mementos of your trip
Asking your grandfather to do a one-handed pushup might result in him dying on the shitter twenty minutes later
Do not accidentally load your hours-in-the-past NES savestate by stumbling on your keyboard
A fervent blues music lover will not be impresed by your single voice improv of a blues scale
Perhaps do something else instead of stopping your life waiting for a reply that will most likely not come for the next couple of hours
It's not because the logic of someone's argument makes sense that it is actually close to the reality of things
Don't assume Node.js backend is gonna be the same as front-end JavaScript
Please have a firm handshake, nobody wants to tightly grip a lump and flacid piece of meat
When you don't know what to do in your home to pass the time, go outside
If you're balls deep into designing an electronical circuit for nuclear reactors components, the emptiness within you ain't got much room that can be filled by it
Sleeping when you are tired is effective at getting some sleep
Masking tape can fix broken Bluetooth headphones just fine
You need a college degree to make sense of people counting their points in Cribbage
Long hair results in the compulsive moving aside of said hair
A butter knife is just a frustrating bottle opener
Finding a specific radio frequency in your car is difficult with a non-functioning display
Buying used DVDs requires the Ego to accept the reality that not all movies you will own will be in Full HD
Carrots are better colloqually known as "gum-bleeders"
Acrylic paint doesn't go down the drain
Chicken wings are either bloody raw, cooked to perfection, or charcoal-dry
A puddle of shallow water always extends at least a few inches deeper than one expects
Cooking chicken on top of a perforated pizza tray is suboptimal
Wishing for big breasts is only wishing for back problems
LEGO Star Wars is the canon retelling of the story
A broom is the best weapon against spider webs
It's not copium to think furries are hot while not considering yourself part of the community
Dogs are either the most intelligent house animals, or the dumbest
If your cat ever dry-humped your bed sheets when you were a kid, life knowledge tells you that perhaps the white stains weren't so mysterious after all
No greater horror has ever befallen Man than realizing you forgot your keys the moment you close the corresponding now-locked door
Tucking yourself in bed in the most angelic comfort you have ever known in your life implies you will have forgotten something utterly minute and will thus need to get back up for a pointless five seconds
Make sure the guitar case inside which there is the guitar you are borrowing from your teacher is closed off before picking it up by the handle
Having written an explicit fanfiction about your current high school teacher and having failed in your task to deliver it to him brings a lifetime of gratitude
Don't leave papers indicating your SSN in your car
A banana staying inside your school bag for the whole summer will not be good for consumption anymore
If you work for multiple days a week shoveling horse manure, maybe wash the clothes you are using at least once during the years that you work there
Buying in Japan a figurine, for a friend, that takes 30% of your luggage space brings regret
Fate says that your coccyx will meet the consequences of wheelies
During a backflip on a trampoline, your head meeting the metal pole hurts
Stretching one of your legs too much for undisclosed reasons leads to the worst cramps you will know
The current master volume of guitar amps could be higher than expected once turned on
Make sure of your cell's media volume before playing a meme in public
Using the same alphanumerical password for everything is a little unsafe
Spring sofas could perforate a foot if you start jumping on them
What you lost in a public space and never found back was stolen
The password 'admin' is not a secure way of protecting your college's entire fleet of iMacs
Gasoline smells great, but isn't recommended
Your favorite shirt will get soiled if you paint with it
Even a just-averagely-decently-rolled wrap or burrito is not a skill that can be achieved by a fast-food worker
You will lose wall adapters
That local TCG card shop may make ends meet with drugs
Maybe you feel shame because there is shame to be felt
History has more than one perspective
When in doubt, ask questions and seek answers
Your body hasn't evolved to be relieved of chronic and elevated levels of stress just by taking deep breaths and eating another cinnamon roll
Sugar and acid are not good for teeth
Wash your rice before cooking it
A hot pan is not ready for cold water
Nostalgia is better experienced when not confronted by the facts
Binge-watching is the act of speedrunning free time
People who do the same exact job for their whole life is the vast minority
Grades are not reality
1950s Country music is dissimilar to 2010s Country music
Make sure you're already perfect before enlisting in schools
When you think you are not capable of roleplaying, in fact you may just not do it in a way that is properly you
Beware that being homosexual is pretty gay
The letter 'A' is not a symbol for a metronome
Always grinding your way to success is fine, but dying of a stress-related heart attack at 25 is not
The French word 'Luxure' doesn't mean 'luxury'
Culture evolves at a significantly faster rate than one assumes
Make sure before buying a used Wii to play GameCube games that it is compatible with GameCube
Although unoptimal, buying certain things on iTunes is better when the blu-rays cost hundreds of dollars compared to like 80 bucks.
Buying stuff at garage sales takes space in your room instead of theirs
Asking your friends to not post pictures of imminent murders in the general chat might just be too much of an effort for them
People who actually end up changing the world for the better rarely had their mind specifically set on changing the world
When you have a pletera of skills, forgetting things like being fluent in a language or your mastery of a certain instrument is part of the deal
Socks are homemade floor Swiffers
When you tight your belt too tight, scissors become the only solace
Ctrl + Shift + Alt + Windows + L
You will be aware of the exact instant when your dog recognizes who you are after smelling you
Sending an employee three hundred kilometers and back to do an hour and a half of work that could be done by a local is not good use of company money
Spending larger sums of money to own the media you consume also exists. You don't have to wait for that media to come out on streaming services
A fresh incognito window is the way to access the sad panda
Use Zotero for bibliographies
A gaming company which actively hunts down modding support for their game is omega uncool
Nightcore music has no merit whatsoever when it's just a sped up song with an anime picture
Just not giving a damn and exploring on your own the building you're in is such a vibe
Very old books don't smell great
Throwing a barbecue into a backyard swamp is not ecofriendly
Bears with their cubs is not a friendly encounter in the woods
Cereal first
Impose yourself protocols when you thrive better with some
Don't put your car on park while the car is still in non negligible motion
Assuming average rng, whether you are the queen of England, 40 years old, or whatever, you will not escape your mother trying to protect you and giving advice like you're a 12 year old
Substitutes for a flathead screwdriver include : a butter knife, your nails, and coins
Don't buy insurance for 100$/month from people just because they are charismatic
Even if your current job pays well, in some lives it's still better pursuing an education of something you are passionate about as to not kill yourself before reaching 30
Running for an extended period of time with only 30% motor oil remaining is not the best
If actors can easily fake being another human being faking being a human being, imagine how good a normal dude/ette can be at just being a fake self
If you say to me that I ain't cis because of whenever I do be actin' like myself, well don't come say I can be a guy and "just be myself"
big balls among us
It's okay to be wrong
Not everything is about you, and knowing that you can then see how people can just be assholes outside independently of whatever you do/are
Liberation happens when relationships are not achievements to be unlocked, but rather a thing all parties actually actively give a shit about maintaining.
Maybe the real retards are the bullies you made along the way
It's not because you feel something has to be right that it actually is in any shape or form
You don't need 24Tb of storage
The two paths to commiting any ill-doing for an extended period of time without making an actual effort to change is either done by justifying yourself or done by deciding to victimize yourself as how much you're a piece of shit
The only difference about an empathic person and a psychopath is that the empathic person has a drastically better physiological ability to acquire data about the other parties' feelings in a given situation
CDs do not have any DRM
Pretty much anything is DRM-free on torrenting sites
Some disheveled guy spittin' out his exact low glycemic levels like fresh bars inside of a Subway doesn't actually want you to buy him some orange juice
Friendly reminder to check whether you are currently dreaming or not
Eating a bunch of sugar-free gelatin gummy bears results in unexpected bowel movements
You can't put enough energy to learn everything in depth, you better focus learning the depth of things which actually matter to you
Heavily disrespecting a culture built on the foundation of mutual respect and trust might get you in big no boeno (legal) troubles
If you want to understand how someone can do anything under religious zealousness, look no further than people with content brain who'll gladly put out their phone to film someone getting brutally assaulted instead of helping in any capacity
That gym bro acquaintance who's always wrath-driven about every little happenstance of the world when you encounter him might be on anabolic steroids or some shit
Listening to an audiobook while reading the novel is great, assuming it's the same piece of literature
There's a lot of hentai out there
If you read the A Court of Thorns and Roses book series, you might magically transform into a 40 year old woman from Pennsylvania who only has sex with her husband once per decade
There's great ressources out there to legally get really useful free music plugins
Changing the equalizer settings of your audio setup can drasticly improve, or degrade the quality of your listening experience
Isolating yourself from yourself, on top of isolating yourself from others, destroys your mind, body, and spirit
Consciousness is the necessary emerging phenomenon needed for certain types of data to be processed; ...it's not magic (source: trust me bro I do a lot of introspection I figured it out like a big boy)
Picking your nose while having long nails is an activity which the non-hemophilic Bourgeoisie can partake in
You should use water when operating a diamond saw blade
If you are missing a big cubic meter piece of machinery from your excavator, because you didn't know where if went, then don't start the machine, god dammit!
Don't do hard drugs, except Viagra
If you work fifty-five hour workweeks for work that requires only thirty-five, maybe reconsider your methods of operation
Can you really say that an elaborated statistical model capable of making near-infinite variations of similar big-tittied Anime mommies with pussies with dishtowel-length lips parted like the Red Sea is the zenith of 'Intelligence'?
Pee is stored in the balls
Chiropractice is solely founded on a single guy saying that a ghost of a dead doctor showed him the way to his craft
There are multiple valid and necessary different ways to look at reality, albeit incompatible with each other at times. For example, I personally can't sympathize with the black and white thinking of real-life Brujahs, but I understand the need for their existence
Chugging two rockstars on an empty stomach migh result in blacking out for a few hours and going to the hospital
A crossbred Belgian Malinois x German Shepherd x Dutch Shepherd pet is a high maintenance pet
Imposing martial law because the opposition disgreed with you gives you a bad rep